emotions run.

some things are better left unspoken. cliche i know.

_____________________________________________________________________

I love you, i hate you, i love you, i hate you . . . . . give me a flower with petals and I'll tell you the answer.

_____________________________________________________________________

"this is my blog and is none of your business." - KY

____________________________________________________________________


stand up for yourself; no matter what others say (:

_____________________________________________________________________

cherish your friends.

_____________________________________________________________________

IB creates AND exacerbates depression.
"..so do black dudes" - Allan

_____________________________________________________________________

I WANT TO KILL PHYSICS.

_____________________________________________________________________

I'm so proud of my World Lit paper [; (only because it's the first real IB assessment that's going to be graded by IB)

_____________________________________________________________________

I love my bff [:

______________________________________________________________________

I love Chee and the MZ [:
"..and the negro race" - Allan

_____________________________________________________________________

I'm Deputy Secretary General AND MYSPY Newspaper Head for next year's MYMUN Conference:)

______________________________________________________________________

Allan is looking at my screen. T.T
_____________________________________________________________________

I'm taking the SAT Reasoning Test for the last time (yes baby) this Saturday. But omg how pressuring T.T I NEED MY 22OO. yeah as if i'm going to get that score :(
".. i'm pretty sure i would have gotten 2200 if i was black" - Allan

______________________________________________________________________

I discovered my penchant for journalism!

______________________________________________________________________


i will destroy ur face. - Allan

_______________________________________________________________________

I loved my MYSPY Team!


_______________________________________________________________________
(i wrote this during Math class with Allan bahah)

my weekend.

MYMUN VI conference this week! More updates later but just thought I'd drop by! I LOVE my MYSPY Team!! You guys are STARS :)





In the mean time, haha; i think my neighbor's having a mini-concert - probably for some celebration of a kind. So, even though my 1000+ songs in iTUNES were all unfortunately washed away a few weeks ago, i have background music for the remainder of my night! They're singing songs that are really old, but so classic! Yeah, it's not like a real concert where there are real celebrities. I think it's probably one that my neighbor orgnanized themselves. It's like a small karoake session on stage! :D The singing's actually pretty decent. I actually hear music rather than noise! :)

learn.

some people just disappoint you. sometimes, even the closest people you have disappoint you. The worst part is that they don't know it and you don't really want to do anything about it for fear of a fight. so then you let it go, but then there's just that dominating feeling of unfairness that does not seem to fade away. so what do you do? you let it go, and lose the only opportunity you had to teach that someone a lesson that might just be useful to him/her in the future.

Another boring day of IB

The date today is 14th April 2009. It's a Tuesday, and this is actually my least favorite day of the week. Why? Because it's the middle of the week and there's nothing at all we can look forward to. On Wednesday's, the story is different because we can slowly cruise into the weekend. On Mondays, i kind of feel as though there's something to look forward to. Well anyway, that's just how i think about it. Life doing the IB Diploma is pretty dull, so dull it makes you count the days until the weekend. Believe me, those people that take 4 IB classes only and amongst them only take 1 HL class are so irritating when they whine about their busy life. Like seriously, they have no idea what we have to go through!!!

OK la i don't know why i'm so mad now. Probably because there's so much work i have to and so little hope i can see of getting it done in the near future. To those soon-to-be Diploma students, the most important skill you need to possess is far-sightedness because i swear if you look into your planner and see the amount of work you have to do in the coming 2 months, you'd pass out.

Anyway, before i go i want to leave you with a picture summarizing the thoughts going around in my head:

to myself.

gosh i hate you.

bird.

i'm locked in a cage and i can't get out.

looking ahead.

i've been thinking quite a lot for the past few days. i've been thinking about my future; you know, what i want to do and where i wish to go. sometimes i feel so jealous of the seniors at our school! they're done with everything including CAS and EE, and in just a few months time they will be graduating, and then stepping into a whole new dimension - heading to Uni and meeting new people. i wish i was at that stage - knowing I've been accepted into a college that actually wants me, looking foward to living alone and being independant and making new friends! but i have a feeling that when i do get to this stage, i would want time to turn back. right now i'm so eager to graduate, but i still have a long way to go. my to-do list just goes on forever; it feels like there's just so much to do and not enough time to do it. time is passing by too quickly; in a blink of an eye it'll be the end of my junior year; by the end of this year i would be done with college apps; and by February of next year, i will be turning 18.

maybe i should be appreciating my final years in high school instead of contemplating about the future. i don't really know.

___________________________________________________________________

this is a must see if you're an IB victim.

for all you IB haters and procrastinators, the following website is a must-read!!!

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/IB
check it out.

Here are some stuff from the website:
"You know you're in IB when ...You wonder if there's Cliff's Notes on the Calculus book." HAHAHA.
"The extended essay is a 4000 word demonic piece of writing, requiring the students to bullshit about their chosen topic."

THE ASIAN TEST.

ok i HAD to steal this from Honoka when she tagged me on Facebook.
Just know that in my life i never really wanted to be TOO Asian!

THE ASIAN TEST

Do it if you are Asian.
(:If you are not, just do it anyways. :P

[x] Both of your parents are from Asia
[x] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn"
[x] You think DDR is cool
[ ] You watch anime
[ ] You like Korean drama (but i like Taiwanese dramas)
[ ] You have stuff hanging on your phone (not anymore- this is a Japanese thing to do)
[ ] Your parents want you to marry within your own race
[x] You eat rice almost everyday
[x] You drink lemon tea (u don't have to be Asian to drink this?!)

X's so far: 5/10

[ ] You style your hair (i don't have to! it's straight already!)
[ ] You have a xanga/bebo/myspace/friendster
[x] You speak languages other than English
[x ] Your parents are strict compared to other REALLY asian parents
[x ] Your parents have high expectations of you.
[ x] You always get A's/B's on your report
[ x]You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x ]You know your multiplication table (T.T anyone who doesn't know should be in kindergarten! no offence that is)
[x] You play badminton or table tennis
[x] You've seen the asian version The ring/The grudge

X's so far: 13/20 (dear me. i don't think i'm doing well on the test so far)


[ ] You own an asian car
[x] You're not the only child (uh what does this have to do with being Asian or not T.T)
[ x] You've gotten little red envelopes around February
[ ] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[ ] If you're a girl, you prefer white guys over asian guys, or if you're a guy you prefer asian girls[x] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can do the rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[ ] You play video games

X's so far: 17/30


[ x] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
[x] You don't like football
[x] You have/had a curfew
[ ] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[ ] You know what purikura is
[x] You like bubble tea
[x ] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[ ] You've played final fantasy
[ ] You believe in fortune cookies

X's so far: 23/40


[x] Everytime you're going out your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[ ] You have karaoke at home (i wish.)
[x] You have have heard of BoA, Gazette, Ayumi Hamasaki, Gackt, Jay Chou, Twins, or DBSK
[ ] You've been to a LAN more than 3 times
[x] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house (ahahahhahha this is a good one.)
[ ] You own a gaming console
[ x] You play a musical instrument
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks well
[x] You get nothing if you do well in school

X's so far: 30/50


[ ] You know what bok choy is
[ ] You've heard the song "Got rice?"
[x] You have/had a tutor
[ ] You've had pockys/yan yan before
[ x] When you seek for your mother's permission she replies "Ask your dad"
[x] You like to save things in case you need them later, even if you never use it.
[x ] You have tasted durian
[ ] You hope to be employed in something practical, like medicine, law, accounting, or engineering
[x ] You have eaten dog or snake
[ ] Everyone thinks you're at least a year younger than you actually are

X's so far: 35/60


[x] You call your adult family friends "Auntie" or "Uncle"
[ ] You have or have had a bowl cut
[ x] Your parents enjoy(ed) comparing you to their friends' kids
[ ] You eat everything with chopsticks
[ ] You hang/hung your clothes out to dry on a line attached to the window of your flat and the window across from yours
[ x] You are applying/applied to an ivy league college
[ ] Your parents or relatives have tried setting you up with someone
[ x] You eat for breakfast what is considered food unfit for breakfast
[ x] You scored higher on the math than you did on the verbal on the SAT
[ ] You always cheer for the Asian athlete on TV

X's so far: 40/70


[ ] You love shopping at Costco because everything's cheaper when buying in bulk, even if you don't need so much
[ x] You buy rice in 50lb sacks at least
[ ] You have had to wear hand-me-downs
[ ] You get two of the same thing but one is better because it's free
[ x] You fight for the bill because of face, even though you don't actually want to pay for such an expensive meal (omg so true hahaahhaah)
[ ] You make things yourself because it's cheaper, even though it takes more time
[ ] You own a huge butcher knife but it's actually called a "vegetable knife"
[x ] You own a lot of Tommy Hilfiger or Calvin Klein
[x] You can down cups of tea like water and not feel the caffeine effects because you're used to it[ ] You love hot pot

X's so far - 44/80


[x] You make your rice without butter, spices, or salts
[ ] Your parents are especially loud on the phone
[ x] You always take home the leftovers from a restaurant
[x ] You try to coerce others into taking the leftovers if you're eating with company
[ x] You give fruits as gifts
[ ] You will waste extra gas to find cheaper gas/other things
[ x] You are smaller in size compared to the Caucasian population
[ ] You have relatives in Canada
[ x] The number 8 is an extremely lucky and important number to you
[ x] The number 4 is an extremely unlucky number to you

X's so far - 51/90


[ x] Every big event revolves around food
[x ] You have gotten used to the smells of herbal medicines
[ ] You are stick thin and want to keep it that way
[ ] You try to save money on everything you buy
[ ] You eat a lot but it doesn't add much to your weight
[ x] You care a lot about staying in fashion with the rest of Asia
[ x] School is always the number one priority in your family
[ x] You care a lot about honor and saving face
[ x] Your parents expect you to do everything right
[x] You mix languages up constantly while thinking and speaking

X's total: 58/100


25 or lower - White Washed
26-30 - European/Canadian/AmericanBorn Asian
31-40 - Pure Asian
40-45 - FOB Washed Asian
45-50 - Pure FOBS
55 and up - Hopelessly FOBBY

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH NO. WHAT. NO. THIS IS ALL MY PARENTS' FAULT. THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ARE SO ASIAN. NOT ME T.T

CC experience

lol.
i'm at SKY CC now - the place where EVERY, and i mean EVERY MKIS student comes.
i came only because i was following bff Zennie since he wanted to play for a while and then go for lunch. But when i came, in front of each and every computer sat an MKIS gamer. When they saw me, all of them had the same unanimous expression: "KY?!?!?! WHOAA. KY A GAMER?!!? NO WAY!"

T.T

Allan took a photo of me even. (with Counter Strike open on my screen- not that i was playing or anything).

hahaha.

And now i hear Tim behind me screaming "FUCK" incessantly.


Damn. I should come here more often. Get exposed to what guys REALLY do when they have nothing else to do in their lives.

new re-do.

ho ho ho.

i got a new hair cut today. this morning i woke up and i felt like my hair was seriously a burden. for the past few months i felt like my hair just kept growing puffier and puffier. seriously. and it sucks that that's because my hair is curly in nature. so if i don't re-bond it, i'd look like a lion. no, i'm not kidding. it's been more than a year since i last re-bonded my hair; so for the past few months it grew longer and more puffy, so puffy that the only thing i could do to my hair was tie it up in a pony tail when i go to school. but that doesn't turn out nice either, since after tying it, all the short, curly new-born hair at the tip of my forehead would spring out, making my hair totally haywire. so anyway today i went to the salon and asked for a new re-do. the barbarer looked through my hair, and in the end said "there's only one solution for this puffiness. re-bond."

-_-"

originally, i didn't want to re-bond my hair again since i've done it more than ten times in the past few years already (therefore explaining why i have so many split-ends). so when the barbarer told me the only solution was to re-bond it again, i was like.. .. T.T.
so then i suggested cutting it shorter (a little above shoulder length), and then re-bonding it.

and that was indeed what happened.

so now i look at myself in the mirror and i think "yuck". seriously.
this short-cut hair makes my face look even rounder. and i look like such a school girl nerd.
wtf T.T

something to procrastinate.

i recently discovered five things.


1. I have a pimple outbreak (my face is SO oily for some goddamn reason)
2. WRIGLEY's Eclipse mints keep my attention span high. (something i desperately need nowadays; IB's pushing me down the drain.)
3. My new favorite song is You Found Me by The Fray. (dedicated to me by bff Zennie)
4. I gained 1 kg today. (wtf. i just started Varsity Badminton season with practices three times a week and i don't usually eat at school and i gain 1kg. Hokum.?!)
5. I must now attend to my pile of hw.


T.T

a small whine

it's been so many days since i last blogged! ah well. there has just been so many things going on T.T and this won't end until the end of this school year, malheureusement [sadly]. I actually have so many things to tell everybody; but i don't have the time now. Just thought i'd drop by to say hi to my poor little abandoned blog. I miss you! And everybody's comments! I promise i'll blog soon! I learned so many things over the past few days though: things like, I'm a nice girl at sight but an angry person at heart, that i love to dance and am not afraid to show that especially if given techno music (Infinity 2008's gotta be the one everybody loves), that i'm a person who's seeking new love, that my grades are falling because the IB program is playing its fatal trick on me, that i'm rather competitive (once again only at heart) when it comes to sports (and maybe academics but that's not a surprise)...and so many other things.

sigh;
life is hard,. and jealousy is just a pain.
love is and will always be non-existent,
and what more, fun is forever out of reach.

an update of my rundowned week.

hello hello! ah the happiness.
haha okay before you think this is going to be another one of my emo-aggro posts (seeing as the last few posts were all of this kind) it's going to be the opposite this time! :) I feel much better now. It's Friday thank god for that. Yeah i don't think i need to emphasize again that this week was just so stressful. But hey, i got into the Varsity Badminton Team! How's that! haha nah, i got in only because there were so little girls to choose from. Anyway! I My birthday was last Monday! I have some pics to show all of ya! Then I'll add on some Spirit Week photos as well. I guess overall Spirit Week was great fun. It got better and i guess more 'spirited' as the week progressed. I'll tell you why this week was just such a hectic week! I was busy organizing:

1. Spirit week activities at lunch
2. Valentine day grams
3. IB tests + projects + hw overload (were all due this week since our edline quarter 3 reports were due this morning..so all my teachers dumped a shitload of work on us students. cruel.)
4. Varsity Badminton tryouts happen to be on this week as well. (I went on Monday, 3-5pm, Wednesday 4-6pm, and Thursday 3-5pm.)

ah. this week was just a combination of fun, anger, emo-ism, pms-es, and love! ^^
aren't we all glad it's over and we have a wonderful weekend to look forward to :)

oh and before i proceed to zee photos, sorry for anyone who i shouted at, i glared at, i didn't smile or say hi to, who i totally treated as rubbish-bins (haha Junichi, Jonathan, Scott and Zennie during TOK. i totally brokedown that class when i spilled the many to-do lists that i had to complete.). Oh and to add on to this list, i'm sorry that i wrote a post about how i hated my [use-to-be] favorite teacher Mr. Fourmond, that i kept smashing my dear bff Zennie's phone on the table when i couldn't get a taxi, that i was so busy i wasn't able to hang out with my aunties MZ and Chee AND my other sweeties during lunch, OH and finally, that i said "YOU GUYS ARE PATHETIC" to the entire HS student body during the first day of spirit week when nobody volunteered to join the lunch-time activity.

AND FINALLY, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO WERE CONCERNED OF ME AND WHO COPED WITH MY PMS-ES THIS WEEK :D [namely Mr. Munro, bff Zennie, aunties MZ and Chee, sis Liyana, my table of friends at lunch, the Koreans + Shamir + Johnathan.] I love everybody ^^




the street @ the curve.




birthday dinner at TGIF.




gift from aunty CHEE :) [she calls me kanachu don't ask me why.]


the TGIF crew did a very embarrassing birthday ritual for me. watch video at the end of the post!






MZ you're missing in the photo! :(


korean 1: scottie


korean 2: jo jo


korean 3: ho sang


+ Shamir


+ Jonathan


Iris <3


Kristi <3


Diddo [Liyana] <3


and ma bff Zennie couldn't make it :( I NO FORGIVE U.


SPIRIT WEEK:


[twin day] thank aunty 02 for making those shirts!


peace and love


and this is my table of friends. they are all so sweet <3

they are inseperable!






triplets!




my former algebra II teacher. Mr Harkness on wacky day.


and here's the TGIF birthday ritual:
they made me stand on the chair in front of everyone.
they made me sing to my table of friends.
they made me hold a bottle of tomato ketchup that they dubbed as the 'spiritual candle'.
they made me blow the candle 1 meter away from where i was standing.








toooooooooooooooodles!

i must release this. forgive me for my being moody and mean.

Remember how i said last week was just a horrible, horrible week? Well this week's worse. Then again it's not even the end of the week yet. But yes, you can see how horrible, HORRIBLE this week REALY is. Is it even possible to have something worse than horrible? Yes. To Mr. Fourmond: if you can't fucking appreciate the map that I took home to do by MYSELF, then fuck off. I have a life, i have to cope with IB, i have so many things to worry about that map is the max i can do. You're not even being fair. I can't dedicate ALL MY TIME to this map. I took it home and worked on it for a whole night, and this was the best i could do. If you can't appreciate that, wait, it's not even hypothetical. YOU DON'T APRIECIATE IT AND INSTEAD YOU ASK ME TO RE-DO IT AGAIN. Are u fucking crazy? And i thought you were a reasonable teacher. Yeah..right. I hate you. I hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you. I hate your class i hate you i hate your attitude i hate it when you pms AND I DETEST YOUR SMELL.


So that was what happened today. this week is supposed to be spirit week but hell there is no spirit at our school. I take so much time organizing events for the student body, but i find myself standing up there being stared at blankly when i ask "how's everyone doing today!"
wtf is wrong with you people. you're the ones who complain that "ohh student council sucks they don't do anything." well look who's talking.




i am so sick of everything. of work, of life, of you, of myself, of the whole world.
stay way from me or i will bite you.

in depression.

i wake up this morning and suddenly i feel so exhausted.
i'm so tired of school, i'm so tired of love [in general]; i'm so tired of my life. i'm tired of having to wake up in the mornings, i'm tired of organizing this and that event in school, and needless to say, i'm tired of working/studying/doing homework over the weekend. my birthday is coming up in just two days, but i don't feel the spirit. which is unusual because i'm the type who likes parties, especially on my birthday. i can't concentrate in class, and i'm distracted more than i usually am. the sad thing is, i don't know why this is.

sins.

this week was a horrible week. it was just horrible. well it was more a combination of extreme happiness and extreme depression. anyway. this is my own business. there's nothing that i can or want to share.

okay. just for the fun of it. i stole this from Sai on facebook:

Seven Deadly Sins Survey

◄Wrath►

Who did you last get angry with?
isn't this question supposed to ask who i last got angry AT?..
myself.

What is your weapon of choice?
manipulation.

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
yes. but not my bf.

How about the same sex?
all the time. hahahahha.

Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
uhh i don't want to think about it.

What is your pet peeve?
condescending people.

Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
i don't keep grudges, but i take a while to let them go.

◄Sloth►

What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't?
reading for my World Lit paper.

What is the latest you've ever woken up?
2pm

Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
my cousin in Singapore

What is the last lame excuse that you made?
i need to go to the bathroom. (to avoid someone)

How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning?
five times as usual.

◄Gluttony►

What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
don't have one

Are you a meat eater?
YES. Chee says i'm carnivorous.

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits
kind of.

Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
when it's needed, yes

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
salty. soup.

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
NO WAY.

◄Greed►

How many credit cards do you own?
i wish i had one

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
go the the States, get a pent house for my future bf and i.

Would you rather be rich or famous?
rich.

Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
no.

◄Lust►
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
censored

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
height is number one.

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons at once?
of course not.


◄Envy►

What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
hot body.

Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
what does this mean

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
Maggie Q

Have you ever been cheated on?
no.

Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
duh

What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
having perfect pitch

◄What deadly sin...►

Do you do the most often?
envy/pride

Do you do the least often?
..

Is your favorite to act on?
greed



:)

Alcohol take two.

"Alochol:
Reminds me of Amsterdam.
The night of the dance,
The dizziness and the music.
Your mind and body -
the 4 cups of beer.

Alcohol is bitter;

Alcohol. yeah, i understand now."

______________________________________________________________________________________

lol I dug this up from one of my old diaries that was collecting dust in the corner of my room.

nothing to post.

i don't have the inspiration to write.
WHY?!



ah. Zennie's coming back soon from Holland! Miss yaaaaa muchh much.



shit. i'm so tired la. and what happened to my writing whims :(

the land of no crabs.

Hohoho i am back from Krabbi Island.
Ok. First of all, for all you fellow Malaysians, we should all be proud that we have fab islands like Langkawi, Sabah, Club Med etc to go to. Krabbi Island is NOTHING compared to them. [no offense to Thais] For one, the beach is dirty. Two, there's just..too many people; it's White-People dominated. Three, the food sucks. Four, it's not even an "island". It's like....just a beach by a small town called Krabbi. I mean sure it was relaxing and all.... but it's just not worth going if you live in Malaysia.

okay la. I'll cut down on the words and continue with zee photos :D


the resort was decent i have to say.








lol oh dear what a cam whore.










Rara the elephant who stank.







these tents were nice though.


and this is just so romantic. A dinner by the beach underneath a tent. AHH. You know whenever i go to these beaches and i see those lovey-dovey couples all over the place..i feel SO jealous. I wish one day I could escape Malaysia and enjoy a few days with my baby. Unfortunately this dream is still unreachable. ):


and this is the night view!


the only thing decent about this resort was the awesomely romantic night ambiance.


our excursion to Phi Phi island? (i forgot the name) it was here that we went snorkeling and fishing.


too bad we only caught 4 fishes for BBQ.


they were quote sating though.


lol okay then there was a CNY celebration/dinner. The lion dance was...worse than mediocre. (i mean usually you'd have two lions right? and then they'd perform a series of undoable stunts that make the audience go "whaaaaaaaaaaaaa". But this one was kind of sad. It just had one lion dancing around in circles.) Likewise for the other dances..like the Chinese Umbrella Dance. I mean they were just decent enough to fulfill a White person's viewing..but for a Chinese, you'd start throwing oranges at the dancers. (ahahaha that's Chinese decorum i tell you.)




yeap that's the night view of the swimming pool.


and i still don't know why it's even called KRABBI. i didn't see any crabs.






fuck. school starts tomorrow and i still have a pile of HW to do. shit and now i have another CNY dinner to attend. ahhhhhhhhhhhh someone save me.