For my dear May Zhee.

haha. okay.
this is how the story goes:

Two days ago, i was waking up to the
bizarre construction noises (as usual every morning at
11am right outside my house), and then
my hand-phone door-belled (my sms ringtone is the sound of a door-bell haha).

Sender: May Zhee
"Kuan Yu, do you feel that without me, life will be extremely hard?
Do you feel that i have impacted your life in ways that even words cannot explain?"

My eyes forced open, and now i was reading
the message over again.

A few minutes after and as i was contemplating on the question,
my hand-phone rang:

May Zhee: KUAN YU! Do you feel that life without me..is like a part of you is missing?
KY: HAR. (still trying to make sense of all of this) what you talking bout wor!
May Zhee: AHh do you feel like like.okay take GZ out of the picture for now .ahahah. do you feel like i have impacted your life??
KY: EH..why asking me this la!
May Zhee: ahhh okokok. Just just..do you feel i'm important in your life or not!
KY: (annoyed at her insistence)OKOK. but but i've only known you for 6 months lor.. i mean i KNOW you well enough la...i guess..ya ya..you are important..
May Zhee: ahahhaha. ahh okok thing is, i have to choose a person to write a peer evaluation for me! and u were my first choice!
KY: (Feeling bad hahaha) AH i feel special la! okokok..i mean i know you well enough to be able to write one for u..just that since in school we don't talk much cause i'm always so busy right..i don't know if i can make this evaluation like...full.
May Zhee: AH i know i know i get what you mean..okok i'l think about it.
KY: ahhh but but i want you to know that like..if you want me to write one i can write one for you! and i want to! there's so much to say about u! and u are a unique person!
May Zhee: ahhh hahahha okay okay. thanks..i'll call you later.


A few hours later she sms-ed
and said "KY! You're doing it for me!"


So there you go. Now i shall reveal my words of May Zhee Lim!
Though i stayed up so late last night to do it..it was fun. She IS a special person:


There is only one girl throughout my entire high school career who I had ever judged incorrectly upon seeing her for the first time, and her name goes by May Zhee Lim. With her piercing, girly, high-pitched voice and oh-my-god shrieks, and not to mention her incessant whines and yammers about grades and not joining enough activities in school, she was immediately (one week upon her arrival at MKIS) dubbed as the “noise-maker”. And this was how I felt towards her as well: she was a narcissist at heart, for she demanded attention from the crowd by using her pretentious nature to boast and brag about two of her published books. Perhaps it was my own competitive and kiasuism (hokkein for ‘scared of losing’) nature that allowed me to openly spit out the words “complacent” and “phony” when asked to describe her.

But that was all six months ago. As the months pass May Zhee has unconsciously entered my life in a way that has made me almost dependant on her. Sure, her self-absorbed characteristic and narcissism might have influenced me and others into thinking she was a girl merely concerned about her self-imposed image on her friends and superiors, but this, as I have come to learn and realize, is what makes May Zhee stand in stark contrast to those around her. Unlike some who are narcissists as a result of their manipulative desires to impress superiors, May Zhee is not only a “genuine” narcissist, but she is also a proud one. And perhaps what makes this attribute even more ironic is that she has all the reason to be a narcissist: her accomplishments outside of school, (having published two books sold worldwide and internationally), and her freelance business as a public relations person explicitly illustrate her zeal and fervor to pursue what she has always wanted in life (that is to publish her books) while at the same time trying to cope with the ups and downs of the strenuous IB program at school. No, May Zhee is neither a phony nor a complacent or pretentious bragger. She is “the bomb”, and this was my nickname to her.

Then again, May Zhee is a girl of contradictions. She demands attention, but is humble and modest at the same time. Her concern for her friends rank above excellence, for it is through knowing her that I, for the first time, feel truly consoled and solaced when I was to seek her for help. I know that it is with the way she uses her words, and the way she draws up the most quirky remarks and whimsical comments that characterizes her sense of humour and that creates a lingering presence of sanguinity and joy. Just today, after mailing her Secondary School Report, she called me, and the first thing she shouted into the phone was, “oh-my-god Kuan Yu! I’m having a nervous breakdown! What if I didn’t seal the letter properly! What if it gets eaten by sharks! Oh-my-god! And it’s air mail! That’s even more prone to being eaten by sharks!” Indeed, her humour often plagues me with never-ending laughter and stomach pains. On the last day of exams, a few minutes after her IB HL Biology Exam she rushed to me with a wry and doomed expression on her face, and with both hands she held my shoulders with a force so strong I thought I was about to be strangled, and then she uttered in one long, exhausted breath, “Oh-my-god! I think I failed my exam! What am I going to do Kuan Yu! Oh-my-god! Oh-my-god...” Yeah, have I not mentioned she’s an absolute worrier? And then she begins to feel horrible to those she complained to after discovering that she had received a 79/80, a near perfect score for her exam.

What May Zhee possesses is a valuable yet daunting trait that everyone is afraid of showing, and that is self-confidence. Her heightened level of confidence is manifested through the various successes, inside and outside of school that she deserves. She’s not afraid of showing the world her true persona. And even when she unintentionally crushed her impression on others with her shrill voice and her ostentatious attitude, she by no means had second thoughts or brooded about changing her character to meet the demands of a new environment. And if this is not enough, the whimsical and hilarious nature of her blog captivated me so much that I, who stopped blogging a long time ago due to personal reasons, excitingly decided to give my blog another chance to revive.